#53 Routine

Honestly, its very easy for someone to say, "I'll change" but the doing factor is doubly tough than the saying factor. The reason behind it is, You're not the one going through it. In my previous posts during the holiday season, I promised to change and to really live in His hands. But the actual changing & surrendering weighs me down. I want to change. At least back to the person I was last year. But its getting more difficult than it seems.

I'm still running away. Not facing that reality of going to PE class. It may sound stupid, but the fact that there might be trails that would lead back to the past scares me. I've been trying to put the past aside, picking myself up again to run this race. But I don't seem to have any helplines. I'm afraid to take that plunge in case I fall doubly hard.

I'm feeling lost. I need the directions. But - where's the helpline?
First week of the term, yet i feel so drained.
How long would I sustain, this time?

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