#72 Pear Tarts & Strawberries

I'm tired. I've not slept a wink ever since 30th August. Sunday was pure madness with all the commitments I had to fulfill and that includes, Math. Spent morning in church and breakfast just with Daddy only. :) That probably caused me my tears when he said, " I came back here, for you. " There were so many things we were talking about. And suddenly something struck me hard, this may be the last. Also, it was a rather "affirming" breakfast 'cause daddy kept telling me that he's happy with whatever my result is and about how mean the education system is to people like me. I was pretty encouraged after breakfast with daddy. But there was one thing I felt I couldn't tell him. I wanted to, just that I didn't know how.

My parents always say to them my results doesn't matter even if its an egg or if its a three digit number (100) because they say they know I study and I do my best and that is all at what matters. They don't want me stressed up to perform. But to me, I want to do well. Sometimes I wonder why I put in so much effort, but when I see my results I feel I (ME) let down my parents. Even though to them, that isn't true. But, I want to make them proud, yet I always fail. & sometimes people would go "can lah, if i could, why can't you"? This line is SUPER common from my cousins/aunts. But honestly, this sentence sometimes upsets me. 'Cause I'm trying, they don't see the amount of effort that I put in, yet such words simply slip from their mouths. But, I've learnt. Though it hurts ti hear it, I choose to ignore it. Honestly, it hasn't been easy. Sleepless nights due to the greatest struggle now - Math. I cry just looking at how I'm going to survive it in 50 days. Sometimes I want to blame that teacher, who left us stranded causing us to be like this. But, I shall just blame myself. I need to clear this as my next hurdle.

After Breakfast, I came home, did math, made a trip to Junction8 with daddy again. Baked after. To have YOUR BROTHER teach you HOW to bake is bad, REAL BAD. Simply shocking to know your brother can handle the kitchen yet you're the totally opposite! He thought me how to bake, I gave up after 4 packs were done 'cause I really don't know so many things! But brother loved me, baked the rest for me. Amazing? :)

And after, the room blacked out! It was already 11pm. And I didn't start collating what I was supposed to get done. File formats were wrong and I had to re-do the whole thing! FB entries kept coming in till 330 so I complied everything together only at 4am! After that was done, I had to standby it and prepare that black board, that was to be given to the teachers! Phew, everything was ready at 620. So i began to print only to realise the printer didn't want to work! I was super upset. I prayed, took my shower and retried 4 times. After amending some, it WORKED! Everything was done by 820am and Dharishini came over! She helped to stick the hearts & the black board together and we were off to school!

Teachers' Day Celebration was cool, with the Teachers' Skit. (The last I'll see.) & the councillors skit too! It really brightened up the day to see the people you most detest actually be the most courageous at events at such. Brought the whole school united together. Ended the whole performance with a class photo.