#76 A Night To Remember

I was weary, I was tired.
I was lost, I was energy-less.
I pondered so hard whether to go home or to enter Your presence again.

At the end of the day,
despite the tiredness
I was happy I did.

I may not have understood the service as clearly as others
due to the blocked, breathless mind.
But i stepped out and went to the alter.

JJ came, oh yes he prayed.
And he said this line, "Lord, the strength, give her the strength to go on... the courage to press on so that she would sacrifice her life, just to glorify Your Name."

On the journey home, I broke down.
Not only 'cause I was tired but I had many "whys"
I looked back at the week and more tears fell.

I've only 49 days left.
Why am I still as stupid?
Why is it that I'm trying so hard but I don't see the fruits of my labor?
Why is it that I'm giving up so quickly?
Why am I not smart?

So so so, many questions.
But one thing's for sure.
I may not have my answers but I'm working for Him.