#80 Friendships

I know its a sensitive topic, but. If i don't mention it no one would ever realise so. Adding on to the fact that I'm sick and tired of hearing the word, "friendship" when people don't mean it. 'Cause I know most won't last. Don't you also think the Bonding Singapore chapter is just - plain crap? At the end of the day, who exactly followed the government's measures? Not many 'cause no one bothers about being multi ethnic .

I'm sorry for the tone of this entry. But I really have many thoughts about it and I really need to unload. So please, take your leave if you find this harsh. Keep in mind: This is the reality of today. You can run, but you'll have to face it sooner or later.

When you try salvaging friendships, how many are actually saved? Not many either. I've concluded I'm no longer going to try to salvage friendships when the other party can't even be bothered. If I don't matter to them then why keep holding onto them? I'm tired, physically & emotionally. I'm tired of friends wearing masks and acting, they do a superb job at it, just so you know. Pretend over and over again that I just want to break the masks. Everyone around me is wearing a mask that I'm so afraid I can't be myself 'cause I won't be accepted. Sometimes, even I wear a mask to be accepted.

Looking back, I'm amazed at how long our friendship lasted. But I guess you three have found where you belong and I was just a meet-point in the process. I'm happy for all of you, since you are all well accepted and have found your true meaning in life. Thanks for the friendship we had, for the times we shared together, for your once love and care, for SPEAKING ENGLISH, for good times. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you three.

I wish you all the best in your life. Continue to shine and enjoy your different but new cliques. Continue to flourish in your MANDARIN, I'll miss you. I'm no longer going to salvage friendships since they are basically hopeless. I don't see why I should be a clique when all conversations are held in Mandarin and I feel like a fool, unaware of what's going on.

Love you always, thanks for causing so much happiness once and tears and hurt now. I guess I only know 3 friends who don't wear masks. & i love them even more than anyone else.

(L), Dharishini, Rajam & JiaWei

& my superwoman & sunshine as well. I finally realise why I'm so sticky to them. They're just like family to me.

Welcome, Family.

Goodbye.