#55 Love & Forgiveness

"Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave,
but not our hearts."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

I happened to just watch all the patronas adverts. However weird this may sound - they do touch your heart and cause you to reflect. Resulting - this blog entry. Love and Forgiveness is all part and parcel of life. But, what does love actually mean to you? Is it just saying "I love you" just to make the person happy or do you sincerely mean those 3 words? Forgiveness - What do I call forgiveness? How do i forgive? Why do I need to forgive? These are some burning question I'd like answers for. But to some point, I realised I don't need answers to them anymore. I don't need to know how to love or why I must say, "I love you" because at the end of the day, there are many things I don't see with my own eyes. They're done out of humanly love. And I've learnt to appreciate them.

Appreciation. As long as you love, forgiveness would come just as naturally. The people that play the biggest part in life are, Parents. No one can actually imagine how much they love you. No matter what you've done, they're willing to call you their child. They still accept you, they still love you. Just like in the Deepavali video, parents put others before themselves. "I carry the light my son, for OTHERS to see." They're not self-centred people, even though they're humans themselves. And I'm priceless in their eyes. Just like the no charge video - "Raising you up, no charge."

Personally, they're many, MANY times where I wondered why they even love & care for me. Why they bother to buy things I want and not need when I hardly do anything to glorify them. I wonder why they forgive me so easily and accept me for who I'm. I wonder why they're such understanding parents. I wonder why they make life so much easier for me. I wonder why they give me so much freedom. I wonder why they're so nice to me. I wonder why they don't push me. There are many times where I've neglected them, where I've got upset with them. There were times when I felt like a failure because I never seemed to glorify them.

But, they still love me, unconditionally. They don't scold me for not getting that A or not making the cut. They've allowed me to be myself. I'm 16. Yet, I feel that I'm drifting closer and closer to them. Ly on the sofa and play, laugh crazily at the random actions. There's just so many things they've done that I feel so accepted and loved despite my flaws. Despite how negatively sometimes I treat them. Despite the rubbish I gave them.

They love me. I don't want to say, I love you back just because I know they love me so I should make them happy. Neither do I want to wait for something tragic to happen before I say " I'm sorry" or "I love you", (Just like one of the Forgiving videos), but I sincerely mean it. I love them so much. Honestly, no one would accept you and be that frank to you accept the people at home. Where despite long distances, the hearts stay united.

My parents might not be ever present in my life because of work commitments. They might be long distances away but what amazes me is that I'm someone so important to them for them to come running to help when there's something wrong. I appreciate them. I appreciate them for loving me. For forgiving me. I'm priceless in their eyes. I'm flawless.

Thank you daddy & amma for being the ideal parents for me. For being my role models. For always reminding me that you both love me, that results doesn't matter as long as I've tried my best. That God's the first in everything. Thank you for accepting me, despite my flaws and for loving me all the same. I'm sorry for sometimes giving you uncalled for rubbish, for neglecting you, for disturbing the long schedules. I love you DaddyGod, I love you, daddy and I love you, Amma.

Never believe a teenager saying : I'm a teen. Parents - Yuck. Parents don't understand. Parents only say i love you. Eee. SO big already, hold my hand outside, hug me.

Because you'll never know when another teenager's looking for that kind of love. I'm a teen myself, I say i love you to my parents, they do too, I hold their hands even when we're out, I hug & kiss them. I do everything - just like how a toddler would do.

Parents' love never fade, despite circumstances. They love us, unconditionally.

But, are you ready? Are you ready to appreciate them? Are you ready to thank them and to ask for forgiveness yourself? Are you ready to be that toddler in their eyes? This decision, lies with you.